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Last Night

8:00 pm
“All you have to do is throw her some dollars,” Ken says. Apparently it’s all in the wrist and I’m tossing the money wrong. I never knew there was a way to do it wrong, but I have found a way. It’s 8 pm and I’m at Strokers. For my birthday. Two weeks late. I’m not complaining.

9:47 pm
“Do you want anything else to drink? Another shot of Patron good?” Ned and Ken have been pumping me full of alcohol for the past hour and change. I wish I knew what they were trying to achieve. “So, how many more shots do we need to get you before you start taking off your top?”

9:53 pm
Her name is Alex. She’s a rather nice girl considering that I met her from staring at the inside of her vagina. Which, I must say, is a really great way to start a conversation. “Hey, I love your necklace!” Hit a split. “The one with the rainbows, I mean.” Cheeks spread… Man, it’s really pink in there.

10:51 pm
I’m at The Hideout now. I managed to drive to Anabelle’s house and not crash the car, so I feel rather victorious. She took over from there because I’m still really drunk. I threw up once we got here so maybe that’ll help me sober up a bit. “She’s throwing up because of 6 shots? She’s gone.” It sounds good in theory.

11:28 pm
I jusht want to dtance. I just want to dance. Oh, no its stoo hot! Why s it so hot? God, am I tiird. I tink I fell asleep for a momebt. Wait, I love this sssong!

1:15 am
WHAS GPPIN ON EVERBUDY? IM HACIN SO MUGH FUN ITS SO FUN! WAIT WHERE ARE WE GOIING? “Gwen has school in the morning. It’s time to go.” NO ANABLLLLE! IDONT WANY TO GO YET! IM NOT DURNK YOU LIARS!

4:13 am
It’s 4 am and I’m kind of hung-over. Not in the my-head-hurts-when-there-is-light-or-a-loud-noise kind of way. Just the fact that I keep getting up in order to vomit in the sink then falling back to sleep. It’s actually rather annoying. Who gets hung-over in the middle of the morning?

5:02 am
I wake up every few minutes to feel my heartbeat. It’s moving so quickly. I feel like I just ran a marathon. I have to go throw up now.

5:04 am
My biggest mistake of the night was drinking that Fanta. It’s so gross. Orange citrus vomit.

6:20 am
I’m going to bed.
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