I mean it from the bottom of my [HEART].

If there were a way to see inside of me it would look like a storm.  A tornado.  A tsunami.  There is too much rolling around inside with no way to get out.  I could scream and yell and bitch and rant and not a one in the world would hear me.  I'm ripping apart and my screws are coming lose and soon there will be nothing left of me but shreds.  Paper in a fire.  Ash in the wind.  I'm not damaged, I'm conflicted and I'm perceived all wrong.  Maybe there is just no right way to interpret me.  I'm wrong. It's wrong. All wrong.

There is blood all over my exquisitely painted walls. And on the imported carpet from China. And soaked into the thousand thread-count sheets. This is going to take absolutely forever to clean up. I was never informed that death was so messy and if I had known I would have put down some plastic over the furniture or something. Now I have to pay someone to get all the stains out. Such a hassle. I was just playing a bit of a game with my husband, you see. It seems that we got a bit too rough and he has hurt himself. Such a clumsy man I am married to. He has managed to make a mess of everything in the room, and now it's going to take me even longer to clean up before dinner can get made. We always play little games like this with each other though. The last time we played tag, he accidentally pushed me too hard and I hit my head on the kitchen table. I ended up with 4 stitches, but I know it was just a mistake. Another time while we were playing hide and seek at the mall, he acciden...

[ Whiner /Winner] I'm a whiner. Whiner, not a winner. I'm hungry. I'm tired. I'm bored. I give you full permission to slap me and tell me to shut up. Shut up. Sit down. Go play in traffic. Bad Ashley.

There is a subtle art to feeding off of ideas from another person. The point is not, as some may think, to completely take their ideas as your own and try to market them as magic of your own. The stealing of someone else's hard work actually makes me sick. That's why they come down on you so hard at school for plagiarism. It's the lack of creativity that your teachers and parents are worried about. That their pupil or child is going to end up working a pointless 9 to 5 cubicled desk-job because of their inabilities to think for themselves. Working and thinking for the man. But the beauty of drawing an idea from someone else and then using it to fuel your own creativity, thats true beauty. The fact that another persons thoughts have been able to help you create something magical of your own, that's what I strive for. To take in the aura of someone else and make something for myself that I can be proud of. To inspire others to be proud of themselves.

You kiss me in a darkly lit room. Tell me I'm pretty. Please, tell me I'm pretty. I ask if you will regret this later. You say no. You just need me to Stay... Right... There... Wait, no, stop. You hear a voice. Voices. People. Panic. [Fight or flight] I am tossed to the side. You chose flight. We must save the image. [Just laugh it off] Don't let them know. [Just laugh it off] Never let them see. [Just laugh it off] It was nothing you say. It was nothing I say. .exit stage left.

1. Walk your dog! 2. Run a mile! 3. Make 7 sandwiches. Eat them! 4. Prank call all the friends you know are sleeping! 5. Make a bookshelf naked! 6. Solve P versus NP ! 7. Bass fishing! 8. Grease a pig. Catch it! 9. Sing an opera in front of your neighbors home at the top of your lungs! 10. Go to Wal-Mart. Steal all the food you can carry. Donate it to the homeless. Eat it in front of them!

1. Buy a new toothbrush as the one that I currently own  has the slight scent of aged cheese, as well as a bit of the color. 2. Get a haircut. To say that my hair is merely 'uneven' would be a gross understatement resulting in an entire flock of angels falling down dead as a result of my untruths. I will never be accepted into heaven, as God shall never forgive me. 3. Buy some cat food, for underneath all of that fur lies a feline of pure skin and bone. She will die soon from starvation. As it stands I feed her bits of my Cinnamon Toast Crunch from the bowl in between bites. We are currently team eaters. 4. Invest in a few pairs of long socks. The winter months are soon to set in and without adequate warmth for my legs whilst wearing unseasonably short skirts, I will fall ill and die. Also, because of the set of angels I had slain previously, I will be sent directly to hell, where although it will be warm enough for my unseasonably short skirt, will be rather vexing as it...